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Taming Of the Screw

Taming Of the Screw

Mar 23, 2018

Training

collier_tamingofthescrew.png

A REENACTMENT OF REAL LIFE EVENTS BY COLLIER LAWRENCE
(Yes, Collier did actually name the screw in her foot Tyrion)

ACT IV

Scene I. On a table at PT clinic. Collier sits on the edge of a treatment table sans cast, boot, and calf muscle (we’ll toss in a quad, shrinking by the second, for kicks). After months of swimming and spinning her legs on the bike, in a desperate attempt maintaining a shred of aerobic fitness and a valiant effort to get her sweat on every day, the elusive “Return to Run Plan” has been brought to the table, deliberated over, and green lighted. We’re off to the races... not like actual track or road or trail races but you get the idea; we’re on the road to those.

Ellie: Alright let’s start with 2 minute run 3 minute walk, 15-30 minutes total. You are only allowed to go more than 15 if it feels 110%. Do you understand?
Collier: Crystal clear.

Ellie: Cool. Update me how it goes.

(exit Ellie)

Collier: Thus have I politically begun my return to run

And ’tis my hope to end successfully.
Till muscles and tendons have gotten swole

Pavement pounding and trail thrashing will be minimal still.
But, flesh and bones are easiest to master.
It isn’t I, but the Restorer of Foot Structure,
Strengthener of Bone, Hardware of the Navicular,
Tyrion the Screw, who must be trained.

That is, to introduce single leg leaps and bounds
A series of applied forces on the ground.
Lungs waterlogged from months spent pulling laps;
Slowly, still, we will have to build.

Strolls and saunters; we will sneak at the start.

Introduce Nordic skiing to the cross training deck of cards.
It will begin; little trots and baby jogs,
And here, I’ll fling in a few minutes strung out at once.
And there, minutes turn to miles.

And amid the swims and spins, I intend

That all is done in revered care of him.
And, in conclusion, he shall start to love the run
Consumed by the falling and flying,
And thus I’ll alter his metallic foreign nature

Till bone and metal become a cohesive one.
He that knows better how to tame a screw,
Now let him speak; ‘tis charity to show.

(all exit) 

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