Today, as I look at myself in the mirror, I see myself without distortion. Life seems much clearer, knowing that I may live my life as I choose, knowing that I can reach the highest and truest expression of myself as a human being. One day I woke up, I saw the world differently and I became attracted to situations that allowed me to be in charge of my own circumstances, rather than being dependent on it. This spiritual awakening has allowed me to express myself, be in control of my own life, and understand myself better. I have to admit my prior life was routine. I followed others, did what they told me and believed what they said. The big challenge for me now is letting go, moving on and staying away from those around me who I now understand were holding me back. For months the battle was on, but I had to fight for my independence, growth, and change. I love the fact that I have a passion to learn more and more about the concept of attachment, behaviors and the mind.  

In the past, I have been identified as a part of a twin set who had merging identities, co-dependency, interdependent identity, and sibling attachment known as twin-bond. The twin bond is unique; the sharing of thoughts and feelings are expressed only to each other. My twin will always be in my life, but it is essential that we live up to our own uniqueness, our own gifts and have a better understanding of our own personalities as individuals. As twins grow older the importance of individualization increases. According to different studies, the separation of twins can bring separation anxiety because of the challenge of facing their unique individuality. Personally, I have experienced separation anxiety in the past and I know my twin is feeling that currently. The feeling of confusion, overwhelming feelings of loss, deep anger and even intense fighting is the difficulty twins face when separating. For example, if your twin sister feels sad that you are not around her, you will want to fix the problem by being around her all the time, then guilt creeps in because you feel responsible for the other’s feelings. At this point I have come to understand and accept that all this is part of being a twin and I understand the anxiety, loneliness and depression. It is normal for twins to experience the feelings of heart-break and break up when they separate and begin to follow their own paths as individuals. Studying in depth about twins has allowed me to accept that being separate from my twin is a normal struggle and must happen at some point. It is so important for other twins and parents of twins who are going through separation to understand that it is normal to come to this period in time in a twin’s life. Each one needs to move on and live their own life. One day we will each be married and have our own families. 

This year I had to overcome many obstacles and change my surroundings. It has been a difficult year, but I had to trust and listen to my own intuition. After coaching that was not catered to me, I followed my intuition to search for something new. I studied coaches and read their books. Then I made the big change by transitioning to a new coach, gaining new friendships and changing my career path. My present life has brought opportunities that were nonexistent before, through faith, hard work and effort. I am optimistic about the future of running faster times, serving my community, church ministry, traveling, and pursing my career goals that fulfill my passions. 

I am grateful for the opportunity to be coached by Coach Hudson. My coach gives me training that is catered only for me. Coach Hudson is very understanding and compassionate of my thoughts. He encourages me to have the mentality of breaking through my limit within my “SELF.” The training system involves hitting high mileage in one single day, and fostering endurance, strength, and will-power. My over-all mileage is about 90 miles a week. Interestingly, I have never experienced this type of training, but my body has adapted to the training very well. Coach Hudson listens to me and adjusts workouts based on how I feel. My upcoming race plans are to race the Holiday half on December 15^th, and the Houston marathon on January 20^th. 

I am grateful to Oiselle for being able to be part of their women-empowering community. Oiselle women are strong and are always looking to improve. I look forward to growing and share my growth with others. Remember you are a master of your own fate. Look yourself in the mirror and say, “I am in charge of my own destiny and I make choices that are right for me. I come to this world with compassion, I come with a giving heart, I come with the willingness to understand and to be understood. I come to want to connect to people and share.” I can do all things through Christ who has strengthened me, Phil. 4:16

Regina Lopez