I’ve had a lot of time to think lately. Rather than running side by side with my Little Wing Teammates, for the final month of 2014 I’ve been sidelined with bursitis on my heel, making a slow, jiggity jaggety comeback/fallback/comeback. This sounds negative, but I’ve gotta keep it real. It has been a pretty poopy end to a challenging year in the running sector of my life.
January 2014, I started out the year as the mom of a 6 month old, barely stringing 4-5 days of running a week together, sleep deprived, and recalibrating how relationships work with a kid. On a personal level, life was pretty awesomely confusing a lot of the time, chasing a moving target with the landscape itself shifting around, making it impossible to get a firm stance to attack the world from. I was taking swings at my goals blindfolded on a wobble board on a lazy susan.
But I kept moving forward in the ways I could. I put energy into things that filled me up like friendships, the athletes I coach, my writing, my training…I withdrew from things that were confusing like my big scary goals, the long list of things I had to do to achieve them, and even Jesse sometimes.
I remember several times thinking, “This just needs time. I just need time to pass so this can get better.” Whether it was a phase Jude was going through like teething, or difficulty sorting out childcare, or a recurring injury problem, or trying to sort out new household roles, or whatever…at some point on all of these things I was basically throwing up my hands and saying “I’ll wait for time to fix this.” But as the year passed, I realized that was crap.
Time fixes nothing. Time is a facilitator but you still have to do the fixing; Dig into the difficult conversations; Look hard at yourself in the mirror and ask if you’re doing everything you can do to get healthy. If you aren’t currently living the life you want, there is no other way to get there. Time won’t make it happen. So you can either adjust the goal, or give yourself a swift kick in the ass. Those are your only two options unless you enjoy the feeling of eternal tug of war.
A new year is coming and I’m glad. There were a lot of incredible things that happened in my life in 2014, and I want to build on those. Teammates, friendships, pouring my heart into the people and things I’m passionate about. But I’m also looking forward to some positive changes in how I approach myself.
In 2015 I’m going to take chances. When challenges happen, I’m going to dig in faster. I’m not going to wait for time. I’m going to work with time. Even when there is no promise of return on investment, I’m going to invest.
In 2015 I’m going to let go of the idea of perfect preparation. When I started training for the 2015 season a few months ago, I wanted to have the perfect season. No injuries, no blocks of time lost. For once, just one, I wanted to have everything go “my way.” Well I’ve essentially missed the entire month of December so poof! Perfection gone! But the thing is, perfect preparation is a myth I created in my head. I defined it based on past experience, incomplete knowledge of other careers I admire, and sports movies. Perfect preparation doesn’t exist. Excellent adaptation does.
I’m so grateful for this community I continue to learn and gain inspiration from. In 2015 I look forward to many cowbell corners, meet ups, and shared “yeah buddy!” (and the occasional “come on really?!”) moments. Here’s my racing calendar as of now in case you want to follow along, or even come race! These things naturally fluctuate but the big races/plans that are least likely to change are in BOLD. The rest of the races are designed to support those. Here’s to a 2015 full of taking chances, working with time, and adapting to our reality in style.
Jan 2 – Feb 5th Altitude Training in the foothills of Albuquerque, NM
Feb 7th: USA XC Nationals (this is 99% not happening for me anymore due to the bursitis setback, but I’m keeping it on my calendar because it’s possible some Little Wing will race, and if so I’ll be there as coach!)
Feb 13/14 Husky Classic, indoor meet, Seattle WA
Feb 27-March 1 USA Indoor National Champs in Boston MA (this is not super likely, but I’m keeping it on the calendar just in case)
Mid/late March: A road race TBD.
April 16/17th: Mt Sac Relays. Walnut, CA or Oregon Relays in Eugene
April 19th-May 3: Sea Level training in Palo Alto, CA.
May 2nd: Payton Jordan Invitational at Stanford. This is my first key track race I care a lot about. I’d like to run a 5k here faster than the World Standard of 15:20. Hoping to have a big crew out there for that one, and to cheer on lots of teammates in their races. This is a great one to come to as a fan!
May 15th ish: Oxy High Performance Meet in LA area.
May 30: Pre Classic (would like to do Pre or NY, but lots of factors determine this: which events they have, if I get in, etc)
June 10 Jude turns two!
June 13 New York Diamond League (see above)
June 13/14 Portland Track Festival: This is a local race with good conditions that is well organized that could be a great tune up for USA’s.
June 25-28 USA Championships Eugene, OR. 5k most likely.
July in Europe with Little Wing.
Late August World Champs in Beijing, or road racing circuit, depending.
September, more road racing.
Late September: Go on vacation!