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#DearMe,

Don’t be so frustrated with mom, she is trying her best. She works hard to give you opportunities she didn’t have herself. She tells you this, but you still don’t seem to appreciate her. Try to be more accepting. You’ve been given the unique ability to see life through rose-colored glasses, a glass half full, not a worry in the world. She gave you this and more, be thankful.

There is an inherent disadvantage of being born a woman. Like girls in Africa missing school because they can’t afford sanitary pads during their period. Like getting paid 85 cents to a man’s dollar. Like being penalized in the workplace for bearing children. Learn from your mom's example, keep showing up. 

Society will feed you a warped perception of what you should look like. Don’t measure yourself against it. Push the envelope, speak up, have a courageous conversation. Other women are sharing your struggle; be vulnerable, the world needs it. Have the confidence to stand up for yourself and those who can’t for themselves. 

I know you think you need someone to protect you. That you value stability in others because you don’t think you can provide that need for yourself. That since your sister died you feel helpless and alone watching your parents grow old on different sides of the country. That because you have struggled, you are broken.  

The truth is that a simply strong man is a far worse protector than a loving, kind, smart man. That someone who stifles your dreams for their own betterment doesn’t deserve you. That you don’t actually need anyone because you are brave, resourceful, and resilient.

You’ll travel the world. You’ll meet lots of people and see new cultures. Some you will love and some you don’t fit into. It’ll be the opposite of what you expect. Remember, there is a lesson to be learned everywhere. Don’t make the mistake of thinking people with less have less knowledge to offer. Be open-minded. Let the world give you perspective. 

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March 08, 2018 — Allyson Ely

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