This cycle has been a very interesting one for many reasons. One of these reasons being having to learn how to push during workouts on my own. My twin sister wanted to try training on her own, so she can find her own rhythm. This meant that I had to get used to running solo workouts and be more self-driven. At first it was a real struggle trying to run workouts on my own, wake up early on my own, and go to parks like Griffith on my own knowing that no one will be running with me or watching me. There was this one workout where I felt so mentally defeated running on my own that I started to cry, walk, and wonder why I couldn’t hit my prescribed paces. After this workout, I knew I had to find ways to build my mental toughness. I started listening to podcasts like Chasing Bravery, Rambling runner, Lindsey Hein, and many more. I started to read more on mental toughness audio books and staying positive by saying mantras to myself. I continuously gave myself pep talks before and during workouts and long runs, like: “I am strong”, “I can do this”, and my personal favorite, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. I also created a vision board where I cut out and paste out pictures that inspire me. The images or phrases represent things that I picture in my future and things that I am inspired by. This has helped me become more resilient, mentally stronger, and confident.
Another change that has happened recently is getting engaged to my best friend, Andres De La Cruz. I am now soon to be married and have the best friend and mate that I can ask for. He is the person that I can always count on. I am happy that he loves the same things that I love. I have been through so much in life and my fiancé went through it with me, first as a friend, then as a boyfriend and now as a fiancé. I am so grateful for him. For loving me so much and supporting me through all my trials and testing in life. He knows exactly what to say to me to lift my spirits up and he knows how to read me like a book. It’s great to have someone you respect, respect you back just as much. I met my fiancé during my undergraduate career. We were teammates at California State University of Los Angeles. My fiancé then started his Coaching System, ADrenaline Running, and started to coach me about two years after college. I set personal bests from the 1500m to the marathon. He also helped me reach my dream of qualifying to the Olympic Trials in the Marathon. While I loved having my fiancé as a coach, just recently, having my fiancé coach me has resulted in arguments because I would be frustrated at myself for not hitting my prescribed splits. This would result in me becoming angry at him which was clearly a reflection of how I felt and not him. I made the decision a few weeks before CIM, to make a change on coaching. I reached out to Coach Hudson and he immediately took me in as his athlete. In a few weeks, my confidence and my self-esteem has skyrocketed. I am truly thankful for the support of my family, friends, fiancé, new Coach, Oiselle and the running community.
As my confidence rose, I also made a change in my race schedule. I had initially planned to race California International Marathon, but I decided to race the Houston Marathon instead. My first worry about the changes is disappointing people and having others judge me. On a run, I thought, it is okay to disappoint, and people might not understand. I know that when I put my whole heart into something that I am capable of a remarkable season. I didn’t envision myself doing that at CIM. I did not feel ready to hit my A goal which was hitting a sub 2:37 marathon. I communicated to my coach that I wanted to race Houston marathon and run a workout at CIM.
Seeing the change in myself, I know that I am capable of all things. As my fiancé likes to call this, “the eye of the tiger” look. I also look at it as my super human power. I can do all things when I put my whole heart into my passion. Through every stride and mile I take, I know I am capable of the better me that I dream to be.
There are many new life changes that have recently happened, from being promoted at my new company to trying my best to bring change to my clients. I am truly passionate in this field of work and I am motivated to become the best I can be. For me, I dream of pursuing a career in addition to becoming the best marathoner that I can be. Last thoughts, I am excited to toe the line at Houston in a few weeks, new adventures and changes. I am truly ready for any adversity that comes my way.
Thank you for reading my blog and being a part of my life in some way,