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November 16, 2016

Why Gift Weird

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“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.” ― Robert FulghumTrue Love

I know, I know. You just endured the first blog post from me in years, and now, within what seems like a few short hours, you’re getting another one thrown at you. And this one also begins with a quote, and it also very well may include some fancy punctuation that most people don’t know how to use properly but I do (so I include it to show off and to appear erudite, which is also why I like to throw in at least two or three big words). This post, however, is provided to you as a public service announcement by the fine folks at Oiselle, because we know that, if you’re anything like me, the appearance of holiday merchandise in the aisles the day after Halloween sent you into a full-blown panic attack over what to buy your loved ones, friends, and acquaintances. Actually, if you’re even considering what to buy already, you’re nothing like me, because I’m a chronic procrastinator. For example, the deadline “suggested” for this post passed by long ago. Apparently some people don’t see deadlines as “suggestions,” which is maybe why the word deadline starts with the word dead…. Anyway. I digress (shocker!) What’s wrong with me? Did I accidentally eat a green Skittle? 

Oiselle is a company that has never been afraid to take risks. That kind of bold, badass, what-are-ya-gonna-do-about-it mentality has propelled the company into a kind of success, both in terms of the financial bottom-line and in terms of sociopolitical change, nearly unheard of in today’s economic climate. But you can read the articles on Sally and her wicked vision elsewhere—this is about you, dear reader. The reason I mention the risk factor, however, is that Oiselle offers some clothing items that are classic and standard, the LBD of the cocktail party, and some items that are… well… how shall we put this: 

WEIRD.

And all the awesomer for it. 

As you make your way through the gift-giving season this year, then, consider this advice, and then read on if you’re looking for specifics rather than some cosmic generality. Lean in, because this is the sound bite you’re going to want to come back to again and again if you want to have fun this season:

Rather than getting all weird about finding the perfect gift, get all perfect about finding the weird gift.

Seriously, I should copyright that statement, because it’s genius. It just came down to me, like a bolt of lightning… which reminds me that Oiselle offers many clothing items with a lightning bolt pattern! 

Let’s start with some great ideas for stocking stuffers, shall we? 

STOCKING STUFFERS

There is a famous quote by Samuel Johnson that reads: “Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life,” and I could have said the exact same thing, but about temporary tattoos (a grandiose statement, but none the less true because of it). I have never met a person who likes temporary tattoos whom I do not like; conversely, neither have I ever met a person who does NOT like temporary tattoos whom I DO like.” It’s like my litmus test for a human soul. Buy some Oiselle temporary tattoos, put them in people’s stockings or in your colleagues’ mailboxes, pass them out at parties… and let the people sort themselves into potential friends and certain enemies. It’s like the election this year…. Uh oh. Did I say that?

Another great item for the stocking and for the work mailbox (if you work at a cool place) is the Rundie (singular of Rundies, if you’re doing a search). The Rundies, if you’re uninformed, are a set of underwear for the days of the week, but rather than “Monday,” you get to choose what you’re doing that day, like “Easy 6.” Frankly, as you can see for yourself from the picture, my trashy basement photo shoot in my Rundies is the reason why Sally and I became friends and why I’m still drinking for free at her parties. Maybe your gift of Rundies will also spark the beginning of a beautiful friendship! Either that or you’ll be investigated by the FBI as a “person of interest”… for something.

SPANDOS

If ever there was a Oiselle item that sparked more debate and confusion among my lay-friends (friends with whom I lay down, or lie down… dang! An irregular verb conjugation I can never remember!...  Anyway, not the point, which is that it’s weird to lay down with friends in general, regardless of how you conjugate, which is not the same as a conjugal visit… oh, never mind) than the Spandos line… well, there hasn’t been. Love ‘em or shake yer head at ‘em, they’re here, they’re [weird], get used to ‘em!! It took me a moment to decide what I would do with them, and then it came to me: they’re runner-girl lingerie! I don’t know about you, but I feel a little fake and uncomfortable sometimes in actual lingerie—it’s just not me. I’m comfortable in a chicken suit, and in a squirrel suit, and in a stunning LBD, but not so much in lingerie. But the Spandos remind me of the super-flirty 1920’s flapper girls, and that’s both classy AND sexy… and that is all that I’ll say about the Spandos, for risk of giving even more away about my life behind closed doors that I already did by posting that “Easy 6” Rundie photo. So give these to your runner girl friends who are looking to spice up their lives! Ooh la la!

CAT LADY COLLECTION

I saved this one for last, because I’m treading on very thin ice here…. I live alone and I have cats. Several. A few? A couple is two, and a few is three. I have three. Yes—three. But I have a decent-sized home and I used to live with someone, and I promise I did try to stick with just two but then I saw this Petfinder link to a cat named Skittle, and if you read my last blog post then you know how I feel about Skittles (with the exception of the green ones) … I had to. I had to. I had formerly shared my home with a paraplegic/incontinent Husky, and I loved a cat for whom I had to administer subcutaneous fluids twice daily for his kidney failure, and now I have three cats and live alone. OKAY? Somebody quick, send me a Cat Lady jacket or scarf or bra or… GASP! Underwear? Sally and Oiselle dream/design team, can you please make me, and you don’t even have to market it or mass produce it, just for me… CAT LADY RUNDIES? Dare I even dream of the marriage of two such amazing ideas, both unique to Oiselle? CAT LADY SPANDOS for my romantic encounters? Is “cat lady” and “romantic encounters” an oxymoron? NO! If you dream it, you can do it. If you believe it, you can achieve it. 

Sorry, I got lost for a moment. Give the Cat Lady items to those gorgeous, sexy women in your life who have three (or more) cats. They’re not crazy. They just have a deeper connection to the universe than you can possibly imagine. And they just might be super freaky-deaky and…

WEIRD. 

Please, my fellow Oiselle badass women, refer back to the opening quote. I’m a little weird, and my life is most definitely, currently, a little weird. And I found someone with whom my weirdness, and by weirdness I mean BRILLIANCE, is compatible, and that “someone” is Oiselle. And ever since that day it’s been true love.

Give the gift of your brilliance and your weirdness this holiday season. And if you’re more normal, then also give Oiselle. Because Oiselle has many items in the grayscale color spectrum, which is actually what I typically wear; I like to hide my weirdness like the Superman suit underneath the Clark Kent black-rimmed eyeglasses and business suit. But we all know what’s really under there… and we love it.

Stay weird. Stay brilliant. Fly high.

JC

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Comments

Katrina | November 30, 2016 at 7:46am

Best "article" to read on a Wednesday

I laughed out loud, feel happier about Wednesday and I now must be buying me some rundies.