It's no secret my first marathon last October, Marine Corps, did a number on me…and my right foot…and my right hamstring…and my left knee. [But I don’t regret anything haha!] I didn't start trying to run until early December, and I didn't have a pain-free run until Dec. 27th. As I was trying to recover, I had a desire to work on my strength in a new way. The Dozen is awesome, but I wanted to work some heavier lifting into my routine and didn't know how to go about it (I've always felt a little uncertain on my squat and deadlift form). I’d noticed local PT Ellie Somers and her informative Insta posts, so we met for a walk/run to chat about ideas. She had a lot of them! We spent some time at the gym and she set up a 4-wk base strength training program for me as I get back to running (she’s going to modify it over time as my running ramps up). I just finished the 3^rdweek, and I definitely feel stronger and just generally more robust. I had quite a few noodle moments the first week, but the gains come quickly. Although this routine (the first week is below) was written just for me (and you should check with your own coach/PT/provider before you start something new), I think it is a great general approach to adding strength for runners. Plus, Ellie linked a video for each exercise…which is great because I’m the queen of nodding “yes, I get it” and then forgetting how to pick up the kettlebell when I’m in the gym. Hit me or Ellie up with questions, but feel free to add some of these to your routine! Best part: 25 mins in the gym (or at home) 3x/week is totally doable. Old bird, new tricks! 

Day 1 
Warmup: (3x through series)

1. Bear crawl fwd/back x4/4 
2. Spiderman stretch w/reach upx5/5 
3. Banded lateral toe tapx10/10 

A1 BB Front squat3x8
B1 SL RDL3x6/6
B2 Push-up3x8
C1 Heavy suitcase carry3x10yds 

Day 2 
WU (3x through series)

1. SL hip bridgex8/8 
2. Dead bugx10/10 
3. Bird dogx8/8 

A1 BB conventional deadlift 3x8
B1 Front plank (hardstyle) 3x25s
B2 SA lawn mower row 3x10/10
C1 Rack carry marching3x10yds/10yds 

Day 3 
WU (3x through series)

1. Lateral plank walk5/5 
2. Banded pull downx10 
3. Side plank 3x30s/30s

A1 SA DB bench press 3x8/8
B1 Rear foot elevated split squat 3x8/8
B2 Half kneeling chops 3x8/8
C1 Heavy farmer’s carry 3x10yds 

In addition to adding in these gym sessions, I’ve been really focusing on easy running 2-3 times per week. Truly easy, HR not above 156 (my max is 195-ish…and yes, I need a chest strap because wrist monitors are crap), which means I run by myself more and have to focus on keeping decent form while running more slowly. And sometimes I take walk breaks. No more “intermediate fast” running for no purpose. That’s the injury train for me! Fast running is 3^rdon my priority list right now, and I’ll let Coach Fleshman take care of that part. Here’s to strength and health in 2019.

BY: MARGARET SMITH

Recently, I let myself get into a mega-funk (my daughter’s term for one of my “mom moods”). On December 22, my family faced a new – hopefully temporary – reality as the federal government shutdown. Both my partner and I are government employees – I have funding, my partner does not – and while we are lucky to still have an income, we had to scramble to figure out how to make things work and pay our bills. When the dust of the immediate chaos settled, my mind drifted to my routines, hobbies, nutrition, and things that I enjoy. It was then that I hit a very “first world” low - as I nibbled my last Picky Bar and scooped the last of my “Garden of Life Sport” vanilla protein powder into my Nutribullet for my daily smoothie (note some sarcasm here please), I let out a big sigh. Gone. ALLLLL gone. The frozen fruit, my collagen peptides, all of it, finit-o. Mentioning this to my partner, I instantly felt ashamed knowing that we still had everything we needed for our everyday lives even if I had to cut out my nutrition favorites. But as a self-proclaimed athlete, I still felt frustrated, worried, and super demoralized. 

In true Oiselle fashion, running is a source of joy in my life. I love cycling and CrossFit too. My fitness routine clears my head, keeps me healthy, and adds structure to my life. Goals are important to me and races act as my agenda to guide my training and travel. No matter what is going on in my life, sport has been my outlet to vent frustration and achieve small, morale-boosting personal victories when everything else seems out of control. The past few weeks have been filled with creative ideas and conversations with our bank, our daughter’s school, my CrossFit gym, and others about what we can do if the shutdown draws out. It’s also been filled with long runs, bike tune ups (I’ve gotten good at servicing my own bike), and hard WODs to alleviate my anxiety. 

As an athlete, being cash poor feels devastating (again, in a very “first world problems” way) when you cannot restock your essentials – as training ramps up I rely heavily on my favorite bars to keep me chugging along the trails. My favorite endurance drink and protein powders keep my body fueled and feeling good. But, after blushing over complaining about something I can easily do without, I did some thinking about my attitude and realized it had to change. I was being a brat and had pigeon holed myself into one way of thinking about fueling and working out.

Healthy eating and proper nutrition are challenging on a tight budget but certainly not impossible. Adding a few quick items like oats, lentils, beans, and quinoa to my cupboard means I can make magic happen with some savory seasonings! Changing from almond to peanut butter is pretty seamless and oats are an excellent recovery food. I also realized that my favorite coffee shop, whose muffins I crave and devour after my long runs, sells them at 50 percent off after 3:30 pm. My freezer now has my favorite blackberry granola muffins waiting patiently for the weekends – this is a seemingly small thing, but mentally, a muffin goes a long way. 

After mostly alleviating my fears about nutrition, my mind turned to fitness. For strength training, I attend CrossFit classes and love how it makes me feel powerful during long hill climbs. I’ve paid my gym fees through the end of January but will have to stop if the shutdown lingers on. Luckily, just up the hill behind my house is a makeshift outdoor gym with a pull-up bar and I have a 40- and 20-pound kettle bell and a sand bag in my basement. I also have a weight vest that has gone unused since joining my CrossFit box – it’s time to do some air squats! Knowing myself well, I have asked my partner to motivate me to engage in solo workouts using these resources when the time comes. (Who knows, maybe he’ll even join me?) But in the end, burpees and pull-ups will continue to happen. 

However, mentally, the worst feeling was the FOMO. I think everyone knows what it feels like when a race you’ve set your sights on either fills up before you can register, doesn’t select your name in a lottery, or has a qualification time that you didn’t reach. I have gotten in the habit of associating goals with races and it has been heart-wrenching to watch from the sidelines as races fill up. Many of the coveted ultras and gravel cycling races host their lotteries or open up registrations just after the new year leaving me shut out of 2019 goal races like Vermont 100 and Dirty Kanza 200 (a gravel cycling race). Just having a race on the calendar is a huge morale boost but I asked myself why do ALL my goals have to be linked to a bib number or race entry? I shouldn’t be having FOMO, I should be relishing in the challenge of finding adventures that are not limited to beating cutoff times or lottery numbers. 

I needed to shift my thinking: bib numbers are nice but not required for trail adventures. So, I started to think about my local area – I live in Baltimore – and sift through our hiking guides. This past summer, ultrarunner extraordinaire, Michael Wardian ran an FKT on the C&O Canal Towpath. He ran the entire 184 miles so why couldn’t I do that as my big gravel cycling “race” for 2019? Maryland also boasts 41 beautiful miles of the Appalachian Trail (AT), running from the Potomac River to the Mason-Dixon Line. Why couldn’t I do an up-and-back for 82 miles of tough trail running? Of course, I can do it! There’s nothing stopping me! 

So, today I posted my feelings and the embarrassing FOMO in a Facebook group of ultrarunners – I needed to vent to people who would understand me and not judge my feelings (again, my family is healthy and has what it needs so I feel guilty about having these feelings when others have less). I also wanted to see if there was anyone else affected and what they were doing. What other creative ideas were out there? Within moments, updates were blowing up my phone. Great adventures filled my feed and I felt the cloud lifting. A race director even offered me entry into one of my bucket list races – isn’t the running community amazing? Below are a few of my favorite suggestions:

• The National Parks are closed. Head out on the trails with a group of friends and do a running trail clean up. 
• Find a local Fat Ass race – these are typically 50k-ish unofficial races where the food/aid is pot-luck style. 
• Volunteer. Often race directors give out race entries in exchange for volunteering and it is really important to give back to the running community. 
• Contact your local REI and see if they have any trail clean-ups going on and bring friends. These are often organized by the Park Service so this could help fill a service gap. 
• Offer to be a pacer for a runner at one of the big races you want to do yourself. It will give you an opportunity to see the course and help out a fellow runner. Often, big races set up a list of runners willing to pace for people that are unable to find their own. 
• Pick local adventures or trails you’ve wanted to try but haven’t – this is what I am doing with the MD portion of the AT. 

And just like that, joy has replaced resentment and I have renewed pep in my step. Despite knowing that a positive attitude is healthy, it can be really difficult to actually create a mental shift when life gets overwhelming. How many times have we been told to always look on the bright side, to keep our chin up, to see a glass half full, or that attitude is everything? And how many times do we actually follow through and work towards a smile? I know I don’t do it enough. Taking the time to reevaluate my perspective led me to 2019 goals that are exciting and homegrown. Of course, I remain concerned about the future, but the process of finding new recipes, researching my local area to find creative challenges, and hearing the advice and support from fellow #beastcoast runners lifted a lot of the frustration and anger I felt. In fact, it’s set me on a new mission to broaden my horizon and look beyond race schedules to find places and spaces I want to experience with my amazing running community. Who knows? 2019 might be my best year yet.

BY: TEAL BURRELL

In 2018, I qualified for my second Olympic Trials and broke 2:40 in the marathon for the first time. But I wasn’t always an elite, I didn’t run collegiately, and my first marathon was over four hours. 

I didn’t go from nine-minute pace to six-minute pace overnight. It took me twelve marathons and nine years to go from my first 26.2 to my first Trials qualifier. There were big breakthroughs and small victories, but also disappointments, injuries, and setbacks. 

But people often hear my time and assume I’ve always been elite, bursting with talent from the start. I’d say it’s not talent, but not putting a ceiling on what I think I’m capable of (along with a heavy dose of stubbornness). It breaks my heart when women say they can’t run a certain distance, hit a certain time, or that a Boston or Trials qualifier is impossible. Because they think that, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s true that everyone’s situation is unique and we all have different demands on our lives, but I think we’d all achieve more if we allowed ourselves to really dream. We hold ourselves back by believing these artificial limits exist, based on nothing but our doubting, overly-cautious internal voice. If we take those limits seriously, we’ll never reach our potential. If I had taken them seriously years ago, I might not have ever qualified for Boston, let alone the Trials.

I hope this is the year we all stop putting limits on ourselves, whatever our dreams might be.

Step One: Dream big.

I first wrote about my dream of qualifying for the Trials in my journal back in 2009. At that time, I had run three marathons and held a PR of 3:18. The Trials standard then was 2:47 (it’s now 2:45); I couldn’t even run a mile at that pace. I admitted from the start I might never make it, but I knew that having such an ambitious goal was the only way to see what I was capable of.

Dr. Stan Beecham, author of Elite Minds, says to set goals you’re only sixty percent sure you’ll hit. You might not make it, but you’ll almost surely run faster than if you went after a goal you were 100 percent sure you’d hit. Allowing myself to dream of sub-2:50 qualifiers made more immediate goals (sub-3:10, say) seem doable and not so outlandish. And the possibility—however remote—of making such a lofty goal got me excited to lace up every morning. 

Step Two: Make smaller short-term goals. 

My big goal never felt overwhelming because I broke it up into small goals along the way. I tried to chisel away at my PR in five-minute or ten-minute chunks; aiming to run ten or twenty seconds per mile faster each time, which seemed doable. And I celebrated the victories as they came: the first sub-three, getting sub-elite status at Chicago, returning to the first marathon I ran and winning it. More than five years passed between me making the Trials goal and qualifying for the 2016 Trials, but in that time I enjoyed the journey and focused on improving in small ways (adding a little more mileage, eating a little bit healthier, or committing to doing strength and core a little more often). I never drastically changed everything I was doing in one season, never bit off more than I could chew, and in that way I chiseled away at my PR.

Step Three: Embrace the failures as fuel to the fire. 

Of course, there were setbacks, injuries, and races where the result didn’t seem to match the work put I in. I used to think I could set a PR in every marathon I ran and was distraught when I ruined my perfect streak on a hot day in Chicago. But that disappointment fueled me to a huge breakthrough the very next season: my first sub-3 hour marathon. A few years later, another of my most disappointing marathons was followed by a ten-minute PR and my first Olympic Trials qualifier. 

The hard work didn’t evaporate with a bad race result. The miles and paces were still there when the next season started. Combined with a stronger determination to beat whatever demons got me last time, the next race was often a breakthrough.

Step Four: Find your people. 

After having a daughter in 2017, I knew I wanted to come back to running and try to qualify for another Trials. Some people thought that was crazy and would look at me wide-eyed, subtly shaking their heads as if I was being impossibly naïve. After I told one family member I’d like to qualify again, he ignored me completely and said that parenting is overwhelming, but “at least you don’t have to worry about running anymore.” I chose to ignore those people and instead focused on the fact that lots of mamas qualify for every Trials race. I was inspired by pros like Kara Goucher and Steph Bruce, companies like Oiselle that support them, and family and friends who knew I’d find my way back to fast times. In May I qualified for my second Trials, but, having moved to a new city two years ago, I realized I missed having teammates. I joined the Volée this summer and with the constant encouragement from our local team and the Sacramento squad’s insane cheering at Cowbell Corner, I ran a PR of 2:39 in December, three minutes faster than before having a baby. 

This year, my goal is the Trials A standard (sub-2:37), ninety minutes faster than my first. I might not make it, but that’s okay. We might not meet every ambitious goal we dream of, but setting the ceiling higher gives us that much more space to grow.

Head up, wings out, 

Teal 

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This cycle has been a very interesting one for many reasons. One of these reasons being having to learn how to push during workouts on my own. My twin sister wanted to try training on her own, so she can find her own rhythm. This meant that I had to get used to running solo workouts and be more self-driven. At first it was a real struggle trying to run workouts on my own, wake up early on my own, and go to parks like Griffith on my own knowing that no one will be running with me or watching me. There was this one workout where I felt so mentally defeated running on my own that I started to cry, walk, and wonder why I couldn’t hit my prescribed paces. After this workout, I knew I had to find ways to build my mental toughness. I started listening to podcasts like Chasing Bravery, Rambling runner, Lindsey Hein, and many more. I started to read more on mental toughness audio books and staying positive by saying mantras to myself. I continuously gave myself pep talks before and during workouts and long runs, like: “I am strong”, “I can do this”, and my personal favorite, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. I also created a vision board where I cut out and paste out pictures that inspire me. The images or phrases represent things that I picture in my future and things that I am inspired by. This has helped me become more resilient, mentally stronger, and confident. 

Another change that has happened recently is getting engaged to my best friend, Andres De La Cruz. I am now soon to be married and have the best friend and mate that I can ask for. He is the person that I can always count on. I am happy that he loves the same things that I love. I have been through so much in life and my fiancé went through it with me, first as a friend, then as a boyfriend and now as a fiancé. I am so grateful for him. For loving me so much and supporting me through all my trials and testing in life. He knows exactly what to say to me to lift my spirits up and he knows how to read me like a book. It’s great to have someone you respect, respect you back just as much. I met my fiancé during my undergraduate career. We were teammates at California State University of Los Angeles. My fiancé then started his Coaching System, ADrenaline Running, and started to coach me about two years after college. I set personal bests from the 1500m to the marathon. He also helped me reach my dream of qualifying to the Olympic Trials in the Marathon. While I loved having my fiancé as a coach, just recently, having my fiancé coach me has resulted in arguments because I would be frustrated at myself for not hitting my prescribed splits. This would result in me becoming angry at him which was clearly a reflection of how I felt and not him. I made the decision a few weeks before CIM, to make a change on coaching. I reached out to Coach Hudson and he immediately took me in as his athlete. In a few weeks, my confidence and my self-esteem has skyrocketed. I am truly thankful for the support of my family, friends, fiancé, new Coach, Oiselle and the running community. 

As my confidence rose, I also made a change in my race schedule. I had initially planned to race California International Marathon, but I decided to race the Houston Marathon instead. My first worry about the changes is disappointing people and having others judge me. On a run, I thought, it is okay to disappoint, and people might not understand. I know that when I put my whole heart into something that I am capable of a remarkable season. I didn’t envision myself doing that at CIM. I did not feel ready to hit my A goal which was hitting a sub 2:37 marathon. I communicated to my coach that I wanted to race Houston marathon and run a workout at CIM. 

Seeing the change in myself, I know that I am capable of all things. As my fiancé likes to call this, “the eye of the tiger” look. I also look at it as my super human power. I can do all things when I put my whole heart into my passion. Through every stride and mile I take, I know I am capable of the better me that I dream to be.

There are many new life changes that have recently happened, from being promoted at my new company to trying my best to bring change to my clients. I am truly passionate in this field of work and I am motivated to become the best I can be. For me, I dream of pursuing a career in addition to becoming the best marathoner that I can be. Last thoughts, I am excited to toe the line at Houston in a few weeks, new adventures and changes.  I am truly ready for any adversity that comes my way.

Thank you for reading my blog and being a part of my life in some way,

Sabrina

At Oiselle, we’ve discovered that it’s like a dog year situation, where one year equals about seven. So it is with great effort that I reach back through the years, or twelve calendar months, to reflect on 2018. (And by the way, I’m now 121 years old).

At the end of 2017, and rolling into 2018, I felt like I was waking up from a hangover. The prior year had been a mix, but also a reckoning for me as I realized we needed to work harder at the unsexy things that make a business tick, including better margins, more efficient staffing, and smarter spending.

The reality is that a small growing business is in the fight for its life every moment of every dog year. And in 2018, we fought hard. And I’m happy to report we won this round. We are closing on our best year ever. We took care of those operational details, we grew by double digits, and ultimately soared to a triumphant finish. 

Like the competitive runner in me, however, I find myself asking what more I can do, and scanning the horizon for that next race. And yet, I’m also learning to pause. To enjoy THIS moment, because yeah - well you know. The world is an uncertain place. One in which I hope we can all endure, and get by with a little help from our friends.

So as we wrapped up at The Nest last week before many went on holiday, we celebrated with an Ethiopian lunch organized by our own Dr. Lesko, a birthday celebration for President Atsuko, and some bonuses all around for a hard-fought and successful year. 

And per usual, we reflected on our High Fives and Humble Pies... (a list that is by no means complete):

High Fives 

• Runway Slam - We love poetry slams. We love fashion shows. Why not do both? We started the year by providing space to hear the stories, songs, words of strong women athletes.

• Fabric Forward - our materials waste-reduction program that puts leftover fabric into new garments continued, with several styles launched in 2018, including the Anniversary Flyout Muscle Tank and the OG Roga Shorts.

• Allie Kieffer - Joined the O Team! She stormed onto the scene at the NYC Marathon in 2017 and solidified her position as one of the world’s best marathoners in the 2018 race, as 4th American and 7th Overall, and a new PR.

• New School - a recommitment to our brand and purpose... to build the sisterhood, design great product, and change the sport. The video tells the story.

• Big Birdcamp - Is what you get when you combine team and running and friendship and 260 women in one spot for three days... a supernova of #runlove and connection.

• Steadfast Partners - Our wholesale business grew and strengthened in 2018. Of note, REI now carries O in all stores. For those who want to touch, feel, try on #flystyle IRL, you can find us at REI, Nordstrom, Title Nine, and a fantastic family of run specialty shops around the country. Find a retailer.
   
• New Teammates! Oiselle Volée, the running team that welcomes all women continued to grow and thrive. So much so, that we have a HUGE announcement and fun things to unveil in January... oh yes, the rumors of a Team Shop are true. And we’ve got a full calendar of events for all the racing, meet ups, and slaying of goals! Pre-register to join here

• New Nesters - our family in Seattle welcomed new members, including Mo on the design team, Rebecca aka “Lilsheba” on the socials, Anita and Kelsea in customer care, and Tiffany in accounting.

• Wearable Statements - Who could forget Lauren Fleshman’s “no thank you” battle cry, or a Dissent Collar we can all wear, in support of RBG and women’s rights?

• Babies! Megan Rolland had....Triplets! And Lyndy Davis welcomed her wee bird, Quentin.

• Cheered on our Sage Pros - Both Kara Goucher and Lauren Fleshman did big things within the sport, from Kara’s 4th Annual Podium Retreat in Boulder, and planning a HS Girls Camp for 2019, to Lauren’s growth of Wilder, a running + writing retreat that spanned both sides of the country this year!

• Marathon Debuts - They did it. Lesko covered the 26.2 at Marine Corps (your first marathon as a masters, why not?!) and Hannah absolutely crushed CIM with a 2:54!

• Great Product - All biases acknowledged, #flystyle flew to new heights in 2018. I’m especially proud of our Fall collection...the puffy, the outerwear, the wool jacquard, the new graphics. And if you liked 2018, oh man, 2019... one word: Moody Floral and ROGA with new pockets. (Oh heeeeyyyy...Victory Lap Sale, happening now)

• Tenacious Ten, 10K/10 Miler - It was our second year hosting Seattle, and our friends from around the country at our signature road race. A big shout out to Grant and Sarah at Snohomish Running Company for helping make the magic! (Don't miss 2019 Ten10...on 4/20!) 

• Oiselle Store Crushed - Our flagship store had a killer year, thanks to the leadership of Val and Brenda and Rachel. They surpassed their revenue goal in September or something crazy, and most importantly, continued to be a good vibes machine for anyone who walks in the door - whether that’s helping them find the right fit, or fitting right into our weekly group run (every Thur, 6:30 pm, I wanna see you there!)

• #ItsARunnerThing Designs - The Watch Window, the Firecracker Reflective Collection, the #Outerwomen Outerwear, All the Pockets, the Yeti, and all the fun weird things that runners truly appreciate.

• Podium Project - We sponsored six incredible relay teams, trails and road, that went forth and truly did - own the podium.

• Size 14 in key styles - In 2018, we debuted 9 of our key styles in size 14, and in Spring 19, we’re doubling that to 18 styles. We’re far from finished, but we’re on a path, and we are especially interested in hearing feedback from customers who wear the larger sizes. Please drop us a note: https://www.oiselle.com/design-feedback

• Little Wing 2.0 and Mel podium at USA's - Mel Lawrence has been quietly moving up the ranks of the steeple and ran straight onto the podium at this year’s Track Nationals! And with the addition of Rebecca Mehra, Carrie Mack, and Maddie Strandemo, and Lauren Fleshman as coach and watch holder, this crew is revving up for big things!

• Two Throwers! This year, we welcomed Bethany Drake and Val Allman to the team. Head up, javelin and discus out!

• Bras for Girls - Our charity program that puts sports bras in the hands of girls who need it most, continued to roll along. With the help of the Volée, we donated over 2,000 bras in 2018 and will seek to double that in 2019.

Humble Pies 

• Said goodbye to a few athletes - We found ourselves face to face with the complexity of sponsoring athletes, competing with other brands, and how to navigate those changes with integrity.


• Technology - Growth is good, but it can also be a pain in the ass, especially when you outgrow your accounting software but can’t afford much downtime. We did it.


• Warehouse Trouble - Our warehouse, where we store all the beautiful #flystyle, and is a separate entity from Oiselle (a “3PL” as they say) filed for Chapter 11 this year. Yeah, that was a big deal. But thanks to the O Team, we transitioned to a new spot and all’s running smoothly now.


• Crowded House - it’s not just an 80’s band, but also the vibe at The Nest, as we grow, it’s become challenging to have a private meeting, take a call, or spread out in any way. We make it work - but we may very well have a move coming in 2019. Stay tuned!



My greatest thanks and gratitude go not only to our staff of 22 smart as hell women and 2 smart guys, but to the best community an athletic brand could ask for: our teammates, our believers, our #runfamily around the world. As we like to say, “happiness is a direction, not a place” and we’re grateful to be flying with you, in the direction of a big, beautiful future in which all girls and women can use sports to experience joy, connection, and confidence.

Onward!

I love running. This love affair began decades ago. The first time my grandfather took me to run I was 6 years old. I thought it was so great. Later, I joined organized running when I was 12. I was hooked. And although the expectations surrounding running and performance created anxiety in my life, my love for running itself never waned.  

I used to compete at the highest level of the sport. I won a silver medal at the world championships. I made two Olympic teams. I spent my summers in Europe racing the very best of the best. I spent 6 months of the year training at altitude camps. I tried with all my might to win the NYC Marathon and literally broke my heart trying to win the Boston Marathon. (I finished 3rd in both). I sacrificed family time, friendships, holidays, vacations - you name it, I was willing to put it second for running. I loved it. I wanted to know how good I could be. I was driven to lay it all out there, no regrets. I loved this time in my life.

Then I started to get older. I started to get injured more often, I couldn’t push the way I had in the past. I (gasp) slowed down. I started doing other things in my life. I traveled to spend more time with family, put real effort into friendships, fell in love with all of the fun things to do around holidays, started volunteering at my son's school, started speaking to others, started to really embrace the running community, and so much more. But my love for running didn’t diminish. Although running fast was no longer a motivation for me to get out the door, I still needed to get out the door every day. I thought about racing here and there but knew that I wasn’t the athlete I once was. I focused on getting healthy. I just enjoyed my running for me.  

This fall my son went back to school and I started running more. My 6 mile morning run became 8, and then 10, and then 12. I was staying healthy. I started to run doubles and went out in the afternoon for more miles. I was loving running so much again. The familiar fatigue made me happy. I started to think, “now is the time. It’s time to race again.” And so, I set my sights on the Houston Marathon on January 20th.

At first I thought I could run about 2:32, but after a half marathon a few weeks ago, I realized that 2:35-36 was a more realistic goal. And while the old me would have been embarrassed by this goal, I am not the least bit ashamed of it. Although I have run a LOT of miles in this preparation, not much in my life has been sacrificed for it. I am not the same athlete I was before. But that’s OK, I’m not trying to be. It’s not about the time. It’s about the love of putting in the work and then putting one foot in front of another. I have enjoyed the feeling of pushing myself to discomfort. I have felt emboldened by running to fatigue. 

A teammate of mine told me she couldn’t believe that I find joy when running slower than I once did, that she thought it must be so frustrating. And while I understand this thinking I want people to know - just because I can’t run as fast, the love hasn’t faded. I can now sit back and genuinely cheer other athletes on - without any worry about having to face them soon in competition. My life, and running, has evolved. But the desire to have it in my life is as strong as ever. The passion hasn’t faded for me just because I am no longer in the elite of the elite. And that has been so comforting to me. I love running, I need it, and we have grown and evolved together. We are in it for the long haul.

I am so excited for 2019. I finally get to run another marathon, and then I have more adventures up ahead. I hope that people will see that you don’t have to walk away from what you love when you are no longer “the best”. No matter what time I run in Houston, it will be a victory to me if I enjoy it. If I let myself feel the gratitude of being out there. The appreciation of all running has brought and continues to bring me. This is truly for the love of it, a love affair that continues to burn brightly. Life changes, but that doesn’t mean you have to let go of who you are. See you out on the roads and trails.  

xo,

Happy New Year and blessed holiday season, my friends! 

It’s been a few years since I’ve written a holiday letter for my Oiselle bird buddies, and the last one I wrote had some content not suitable for publishing. (In case you’re curious, it was about hookers. I’m serious). Since then, I suppose I’ve just been waiting for some inspiration, for some topic to come along that really lit a fire in me and that might have a snowball’s chance in Minnesota of making it to press. And then that inspiration smacked me in the lower leg like a mile 24 marathon cramp:

OISELLE MADE LEG WARMERS!?!

I know, that isn’t the actual product name. Oiselle made Ankle Biters. But whether you call them soleus savers, calf kissers, Achilles keepers or gastroc gaiters… this blessed article of clothing I thought was buried with the 1980s and Jazzercise is BACK! According to the Oiselle website, a woman from frigid Duluth, Minnesota, suggested the idea. Duluth is one of the least habitable places on Earth, so I’m not sure how some cozy fabric wrapped around your calves can save you there, but I still owe this woman a debt of gratitude. These ankle biters aren’t merely saving that thin strip of exposed skin between my running tights and my little running socks from frostbite—they’re saving my SOUL! 

Because I’m a thorough writer/researcher, I thought I should do some digging into the history and uses of the leg warmer. Naturally I looked up the entry on the Wikipedia site so that I could begin and end my research at one easy-to-read site. Among other fascinating tidbits, I was surprised to learn that leg warmers were also worn by BOYS… but apparently only in Berkeley. So if Oiselle markets an ankle biter for dudes, which naturally should be in camouflage pattern, I pray that no man outside of Berkeley attempts to wear them. I also enjoyed the disclaimer: “No scientific data has been yet collected to substantiate the claim that leg warmers prevent injury.” So beware, Oiselle, of making such a claim, as that would be a lawsuit just begging to happen. What the research did make clear was that leg warmers were worn for a variety of athletic endeavors in order to keep the calf muscle warm. I don’t think that they should be limited to athletics, though. As a Minnesota resident myself, I am ever in search of a fashionable yet warm accessory to wear during my typical daily activities. As I wrote to Sally and Sarah Lesko, these ankle biters are designed to transition from the boardroom to the ballroom. (I have rarely seen the likes of either, by the way.) And then Lesko added… to the bedroom! And as I found out one lovely weekend day, much to the horror of my friends and neighbors, they are so warm that a woman need not wear much else! 

So without further ado, here are some uses of the patented Ankle Biter:

1. Decorating for the holiday season

Outdoor garland hanging and wreath displaying are a breeze when you have a trusty drill, a wobbly ladder, and some warm Ankle Biters!

2. Chores

Not all outdoor chores are as joyful and festive as hanging greenery. When the winter skies bless you with snow, get out there and take care of business… in style!

3. Grilling and chicken care (not to be combined, people—PLEASE)

Minnesotans don’t see grilling as a summer activity—we prepare our meals on the grill all year around! And when we grill, we like to keep our calves warm. It’s unclear why this is necessary, but don’t rain on my parade (or snow on my grill). And when feeding the chickens, avoid the painful ankle pecking by wearing these leg warmers as soft, fuzzy armor!

4. Indoor decorating

When it’s time to move inside, keep those Ankle Warmers on for maximum coziness and style. Whether trimming the tree and practicing your ballet moves simultaneously (it’s called multitasking), or whether pretending to play the piano, be sure to point your toes and look like a badass.

5. Kick back and relax after a long day

Work hard, play hard, as they say. After a long day of chores and chickens, isn’t it time to treat yourself to a break in front of a nice, warm fire? But there’s one more task to accomplish before you light the Yule log or the menorah or the Yankee candle or your cigar or whatever it is you light in your family! No judgment here! So put on some boots and go get that firewood and kick back in those Ankle Biters!

I wish you and your loved ones a happy, healthy holiday season and a New Year filled with outrageous goals that may or may not be realistic or attainable. Dream big so you can fly high, Oiselle friends! And may everyone have Ankle Biters under the tree, on the front porch, or on your cozy calves already. Here’s to 2019: let’s FLY! 

Yours, 

Jungle Chicken (and her very patient photographer, MJ)

Today, as I look at myself in the mirror, I see myself without distortion. Life seems much clearer, knowing that I may live my life as I choose, knowing that I can reach the highest and truest expression of myself as a human being. One day I woke up, I saw the world differently and I became attracted to situations that allowed me to be in charge of my own circumstances, rather than being dependent on it. This spiritual awakening has allowed me to express myself, be in control of my own life, and understand myself better. I have to admit my prior life was routine. I followed others, did what they told me and believed what they said. The big challenge for me now is letting go, moving on and staying away from those around me who I now understand were holding me back. For months the battle was on, but I had to fight for my independence, growth, and change. I love the fact that I have a passion to learn more and more about the concept of attachment, behaviors and the mind.  

In the past, I have been identified as a part of a twin set who had merging identities, co-dependency, interdependent identity, and sibling attachment known as twin-bond. The twin bond is unique; the sharing of thoughts and feelings are expressed only to each other. My twin will always be in my life, but it is essential that we live up to our own uniqueness, our own gifts and have a better understanding of our own personalities as individuals. As twins grow older the importance of individualization increases. According to different studies, the separation of twins can bring separation anxiety because of the challenge of facing their unique individuality. Personally, I have experienced separation anxiety in the past and I know my twin is feeling that currently. The feeling of confusion, overwhelming feelings of loss, deep anger and even intense fighting is the difficulty twins face when separating. For example, if your twin sister feels sad that you are not around her, you will want to fix the problem by being around her all the time, then guilt creeps in because you feel responsible for the other’s feelings. At this point I have come to understand and accept that all this is part of being a twin and I understand the anxiety, loneliness and depression. It is normal for twins to experience the feelings of heart-break and break up when they separate and begin to follow their own paths as individuals. Studying in depth about twins has allowed me to accept that being separate from my twin is a normal struggle and must happen at some point. It is so important for other twins and parents of twins who are going through separation to understand that it is normal to come to this period in time in a twin’s life. Each one needs to move on and live their own life. One day we will each be married and have our own families. 

This year I had to overcome many obstacles and change my surroundings. It has been a difficult year, but I had to trust and listen to my own intuition. After coaching that was not catered to me, I followed my intuition to search for something new. I studied coaches and read their books. Then I made the big change by transitioning to a new coach, gaining new friendships and changing my career path. My present life has brought opportunities that were nonexistent before, through faith, hard work and effort. I am optimistic about the future of running faster times, serving my community, church ministry, traveling, and pursing my career goals that fulfill my passions. 

I am grateful for the opportunity to be coached by Coach Hudson. My coach gives me training that is catered only for me. Coach Hudson is very understanding and compassionate of my thoughts. He encourages me to have the mentality of breaking through my limit within my “SELF.” The training system involves hitting high mileage in one single day, and fostering endurance, strength, and will-power. My over-all mileage is about 90 miles a week. Interestingly, I have never experienced this type of training, but my body has adapted to the training very well. Coach Hudson listens to me and adjusts workouts based on how I feel. My upcoming race plans are to race the Holiday half on December 15^th, and the Houston marathon on January 20^th. 

I am grateful to Oiselle for being able to be part of their women-empowering community. Oiselle women are strong and are always looking to improve. I look forward to growing and share my growth with others. Remember you are a master of your own fate. Look yourself in the mirror and say, “I am in charge of my own destiny and I make choices that are right for me. I come to this world with compassion, I come with a giving heart, I come with the willingness to understand and to be understood. I come to want to connect to people and share.” I can do all things through Christ who has strengthened me, Phil. 4:16

Regina Lopez

With summer now long gone and the days of endless sunshine and competitions in the past, the time has come to reset and get back to work in the off season! You might think the off season actually means time off, but really it’s a couple short weeks of freedom then back to full-time training. The new year holds boundless potential, so I have to plan to maximize fall and winter training for the upcoming 2019 spring and summer season. I love to think of every season as the process of building a house. Over the next year, I get to design something truly specific, solid, and special all the way from the ground up. Having a plan and watching it come to fruition exactly how I imagined it from the foundation to the final touches is SO exciting.

To initiate the process, I fast forward 10 months into the future and imagine looking back on the season. What are the things I’ve accomplished? What will validate all the upcoming hard work? How will I gain valuable experience? This is where I let myself dream crazy ideas. A girl can and should dream ;) In our house analogy, this is drawing up the blueprints. By seeing our future selves, it helps to determine what we want our final home to look like. In order to accomplish this vision, we have to start with making a really strong base. 

As athletes, we aim to build a foundation that is durable, healthy, and adaptable—one that will be able to handle any trials and tribulations thrown its way over the upcoming months. While many people think throwers train only by throwing, we actually prepare by doing much more. We focus on making the whole system strong. I love to envision we are building our base with concrete and steel. Something really freaking tough. To do this, I credit my coach who has us complete a wide variety of training. This includes weightlifting variations of power cleans/snatches (MY FAVE), presses, and jerks. As well as circuits, sprints, plyos, yoga and biking to work on overall fitness. All of this comes together to make a wonderful combo of power, strength, and high intensity anaerobic training. Building the house takes time, discipline, patience, and attention to detail. I recommend trying these three supplementary exercises as a good and challenging starting point for building your house. 

Med Ball Push Ups: If you like a challenge, then you’ll loveeee these. These still kick my ass whenever we do them. Start by going into the high plank on top of the ball. At first, just hold this position and feel your core engage as it adjusts to find balance on top of the ball.  Make sure your chest is expanded and your glutes feel like they are tucking toward your belly button. Once you feel comfortable in this position, slowly lower your body down and bring your chest towards the ball. Right before your chest touches the ball, hold for 3 seconds in the bottom of your push up position. Then as controlled as possible, extend your arms back to your high plank without letting your legs or core give. Your whole body is going to have to work together to coordinate the movement which is what makes it so good. At first, begin with 5 push ups then slowly increase your reps and the time you hold at the bottom of each push up. 

Battle Ropes: Battle ropes are KILLER. While at first they may look a teensy bit intimidating, you can get the hang of them pretty quickly and feel like a baller while doing them. At most gyms, they will have one of these set up so all you need to do is grab the handles at the end and have a clock nearby. There are so many variations you can do! You can make small oscillating waves, big in sync waves, side waves, small circles, etc. A good starting point to get the hang of them is to begin with small waves. Bend your knees and set good posture, and as your right hand comes up, send your left hand down, then switch. You want your ropes to look like a sine and cosine wave crossing each other with the goal to make the wave travel all the way through the rope to its connection point at the wall. Once you get this one, try keeping your hands together (go up and down together) and making HUGE WAVES. Keep your good posture but extend through your hips to maximize the energy you put into the ropes. Try to do four different variations of movement each for 20 seconds back to back then take a 2-3 minute rest break. Try to do it three times through. As you get more comfortable and stronger with your movements, you can increase the time for each of them. Prepare for your arms to get that really good battle burn and for your heart to be pumping :-)

Russian Twists: These are such a classic. Grab a med ball, sit with your legs crossed in front of you, then pick your feet up off the ground. With your arms straight, take the med ball from one side of your body to the other and lightly tap the ground. Imagine there is a string from your sternum to the ball and try to keep it taught and straight as you twist from side to side. To get the full benefit of this exercise, the key is to go very slooooowly. Start by doing 3 sets of 20 taps on each side. As you master this exercise, you can increase its difficulty by upping the weight of the medball or/and straightening your legs in front of you (imagine making V with your body). This exercise will fire up your obliques and strengthen your core. 

Exercises like these are intentional and should be quite challenging. During them, my body is firing on all cylinders, and at the end feels so gratified by the work completed. While these exercises are just a small part of building a base, the way they require the body to holistically work is what’s important! Take time to think about your own body and the areas you think you need to strengthen. Every year when constructing a house, apply what you have learned from the previous versions you have built and figure out ways to improve it. This reflection will yield valuable insights. Thinking thoughtfully about previous injuries, challenging performances, mental breakdowns and how you can proactively do things now to prevent them from happening again can make a huge difference in your confidence when it comes time to compete. The goal is that with each year your house becomes more and more refined and the changes get smaller and smaller while the house becomes stronger and more designed exactly to your liking. 

From blueprints to base building, these are the starting steps towards a new season and fresh start. Hope you like the exercises and your home building comes along well :) 

Wishing you and your family a warm and wonderful holiday season. 

With love,

Val 

Feeling icky over the holidays is okay. In fact, it’s common.

For those of you who feel that way, let me assure you, you’re not the only one. For me, it’s the pressure of… I am supposed to be happy. I am supposed to feel joyous. I am supposed to be with family right now. I am supposed to be in a relationship… buying thoughtful gifts… feeling festive… wearing cute outfits… posting to social media in said cute outfits. You get it.

But let’s be real. For some of us, this time of year can be a trigger for feelings of isolation, disconnection, and other bah-humbug vibes. Anyone who has suffered any type of loss in their life may feel this sense of loneliness during this season. I’ve gone the last 10 holiday seasons telling myself and everyone around me that I was “totally fine”, “doing amazing”, etc. This year I am taking a different approach…

I made a list:

1. Feel what I actually feel.
2. Practice self-care and self-compassion.
3. Spend time with my people.
4. Be intentional with my time and energy.
5. Give back.

My intention for this holiday season is to spend my time doing new things + things that I am proud of. Something that betters me and the lives around me. And something that gives back to the sport that has given me so much.

When the opportunity to work with Kayla Nolan (Executive Director) at the Girls Gotta Run Foundation in Ethiopia came up, I had to say yes! Well, I basically met with her for coffee, made her tell me all about the trip, and insisted she bring me on to her team because…  a chance to renew the international mojo of Oiselle's #BrasForGirls program? Yes. A chance to run the first ever 100-mile ultra-relay (all female organized!) in Bekoji, Ethiopia? Yes. A chance to explore Ethiopia’s food, people, culture? Yes. The chance to help photograph, document, and spread the word on all that GGRF does? YES. You know I am in.

Okay, so GGRF. They’re the only non-profit organization in Ethiopia using the national sport of running as an innovative approach to creating safe spaces, preventing early marriage and are currently expanding access to secondary school girls. GGRF has been investing in girls and their families to creative long-term paths for self-reliant and financial resiliency in Ethiopia since 2006. Click that hyperlink to learn more about them!

Okay, so this relay. It will feature girls from the GGRF Program in Bekoji and some incredible athletes from around the world who will run together from the peaks of the Bale Mountains through the agricultural heartland of the Oromia Region and to the iconic running town of Bekoji. I’ve teamed up with #BrasForGirls (who have donated bras for every girl) to help bring breast education and some O #runlove to this relay party. This will be the first time the girls have conquered such a distance... together. Wow. Girls + sports = a beautiful world.      

Spending time with my people, planning, raising money, running 100 miles with GGRF in Ethiopia - this is how I will spend my holiday season. Pass the eggnog, I am feeling pretty damn good about that. Just kidding, I am lactose intolerant. 

Questions or want to get involved? Contact me here.

Want to help me get there? Donate here. 

Head up, holiday wings out.

I start every holiday season with a hefty dose of procrastination followed by a steady stream of mini panic attacks. Yes *hangs head* I'm a procrastinator. And while I wasn't raised in a particularly Christian home, Christmas - with the tree, the advent calendar, the trimmings - was part of our family deal. I like to kid my Dad that he's a religion-dabbler...raised Lutheran, enamored with Catholicism, lover of all things Yiddish, and on it goes. My lesson was that, no matter the leanings - religious or not - isn't it a great time of year to celebrate friends and family? 

And, well, now that it's mid-December, time for some mini panic attacks!

FLYSTYLE TO THE RESCUE. And getting down to the business of thoughtful gifts for the people I love.

For Mom... (it always starts with mom right?) I've got it pretty easy. Because mom loves beautiful fabrics. I learned it all from her.

When I was a kid, she had a very modest income and apartment. And yet, as a sewer (and gardener and cook), she always managed have small quantities of wonderful things. She taught me the beauty of natural fibers: cotton, wool, cashmere...plus grosgrain ribbons, velvet trims and more. So the best thing I can do for Mom is pony up with our most premium styles! For exercise, she's either walking or riding her bike. I know she's always loved our Wazzie Wool, so I'll be gifting her the Wazzie Wool Jacquard Mile One Pullover. And she's my original teacher of the PUFF LIFE, having taken us on many backpacking trips in the Sierras. Puffy Track Jacket, go to mama!

For my sibling Michael...

Michael is 12 years younger than me, so maybe my bossy big sister ways is why they took up boxing. Michael boxes at Arcaro, the Seattle boxing gym of progressive politicians (I heart you Nikkita Oliver!), women (and non-binary fem) badass athletes, and my own 16-yo daughter. What I know from Michael is that comfort, movement, and fabrics that deal with the SWEAT is key. Michael already told me they love the Team Muscle Tank, so I'm giving them the other colors! Plus Spandos in the Rear Window Print - because fun and bright - as well as a Trackside Jacket. I feel like that jacket's got a Rocky vibe for sure.

For my daughter Bella.. She's 19 years old and about to start her second season of college track.

My goal this year is to go from being mom to being SUGAR MAMA - and send an entire box of #flystyle to the team.

Training through Oregon winters, they're going to need accessories and layers and yes - they're 19 - so a lot of micro shorts. The styling tip of "long sleeves, short shorts" comes to mind.

Flyte Long Sleeves for all!
Hi Ten Bra + Spandos Racerback Bra
Race Day Shorts
Mac Rogas
Lux and Power On Accessories

For my 16 year old Iris... She's my co-conspirator in all things snuggly.

We've been fighting over the same pair of Kara Pants for a few months, so she's going to get her own - in the Cosmos Color.

She also wore my Queen Jacket to school today, so getting her her own will be self-preservation on my part. Defensive gifting? It's a thing. Adding the Cozy Bird Hoodie and that completes the look.

She'll also be starting track in the spring - so a workout kit is needed. She loves the Flyout Shorts, and I think I'll add the Homerun Half Zip and a Flyout Short Sleeve

As far as I can tell, 16 year olds don't wear tights - so passing on that for now. 

For Dad... it's slim pickins for the bro birds, right?

But Dad was my OG supporter in starting the bird, so at the very least, I think he needs the Men's Flock Tee and the Oiselle Duffel Bag! In the spirit of Boyfriends of Oiselle, is my Dad a DOO or a FOO?! Maybe both. He's extra.

For my hubs... who I call my Blackhawk Husband because he is stealth and rejects all social media.

What he really wants is a Oiselle cycling kit. I have promised I will design him one someday. But  in the meantime, the Crest Baseball Cap is perfect for winter coverage - and repping the O!

For Hope...the receptionist at my orthodontist

She's new to the sport. She learned of Oiselle and told me how she's currently a walker, but is thinking about trying the run. "Anyone can be a runner!" I said, trying not to give off that crazed cult-member-vibe. Hope will need some basics to get started. With walking, she'll need to stay warmer, so I plan to give her my favorite Flyout Tights (high waisted + warm + two big side pockets) plus a Wazzie Wool Baselayer. You can't go wrong with this combo. Both in black, they're like the LBD of running.

LESKO'S HOLIDAY PICKS

Most of you know #flystyle is my love language...receiving AND giving. So if I'm in your Santa circle, best prepare yourself. This year presented an over-abundance of options, so I didn't have to try too hard. Behold, my choices (currently living unwrapped under my desk at home):

For my mom: Wazzie Wool Jacquard Half-zip. My mom's an expert knitter and seamstress (that word sounds too old-fashioned and home-makerish, but is "sewer" right?). Anyway, during her career in the Forest Service she also made a bunch of quilts, made all of my clothes and sweaters growing up, and hand-stitched my wedding dress. So whatever I get her has to be high quality. The Jacquard meets that standard and feels like a family heirloom to me. Plus the blue pattern will look amazing with her gray hair and blue eyes. Go mom! 

For my son's girlfriend: Not to be overly sentimental, but seeing your kid love someone is heart-melting. Plus it is so cool for me to have another female in the house once in awhile! (Praise hands!) I don't want to scare her though, so I won't buy her everything in the Oiselle store. I figure a yeti is just the right touch: cozy, welcoming, good for lounging, and if she doesn't like it she can pass it off to a sibling. 

For my mother in law: She's had a tough year, so I wanted to give her something positive and comfy. She's getting the Tough as Nails shirt (because she's tough as nails!) and the Kara Sweatpants...comfort + the best phone pocket in the business. 

For my sister in law: She's a tall drink of water and a great athlete. I know she'll look amazing in the Race Day Half Zip in black, which combines sport and fashion in the best possible way. So posh. 

For me: Haha you knew I couldn't resist! I've been waiting to get the Power-On Pullover and I finally did. I LOVE ME A SPOCK SHIRT! And: it's awesome. So warm (wore it at Tahoe last weekend), and I just did walk-jogs in dark rain here for 40 minutes and it is still dry on the inside. The Power On material is magic. If you live in cold climes, I think this + Vigor Vest would get you to 10 degrees, no problem. 

I could go on and on...but a more productive use of your time would just be to go the website and behold the goodness. You really can't go wrong. If you have any gift selection questions, just email in to hello@ and our expert team will be happy to help you! 

Happy gifting!! XOXO 

By: Haute Volée, Becki Spellman

After the 2009 Twin Cities Marathon, I remember thinking "I’ll run fast soon"...I knew the day had gone wrong and I was pissed. I cried, sure I had run a PR, but I was ready for a bigger day. I angrily packed my bags, hung my head, and left the 2009 Twin Cities/USATF Championship race upset. I hated not showing my fitness. As years passed, I regretted not enjoying my PR.

This summer I decided to stop thinking about who I have been, and start working toward who I want to become, to let go of the things that weighed me down. I stopped worrying about if I would ever PR again, and instead began training to see what I was capable of now. As fall settled in it seemed I had finally turned the corner I had longed for, and when the Richmond 1/2 came around my fitness was there, and I was ready to tackle my goal races of the season. Nine years, two kids, and at age 35...  during 11th mile of the 2018 Richmond half marathon I knew for certain was going to run my first PR since that day in 2009 at Twin Cities. Nine f**king years. It was about time!  I couldn't have been more excited for California International Marathon (CIM) a few weeks later. I knew I was ready for a big day there.  

Seven days out from the race I got a cold. I rested and hydrated knowing I would be fine by race day. For some reason, I wasn't worried, even with a cold I felt I could run a strong race. I toed the line feeling a little off, but still optimistic. Mile 4 came, and I knew my worst fear was going to unfold. My arms ached, my ears were pulsing, and my face was on fire despite the perfect temps. I regrouped, knowing I just needed to stay calm and see what I could do. Mile 10, I convinced myself I was going to be fine. Mile 14 I could feel my body really start to fall apart. I felt terrible and I was losing touch with even being on pace for a PR. I started to contemplate if it was worth it to end up more sick. At mile 16 I stopped knowing this was not the fitness I wanted to show, and I needed to save myself for a shot on another day without the risk of 4+ weeks off. My heart hurt. I would have been thrilled with my 25k split as a full race, only a few years ago, and though I was/am bummed not to be able to show my fitness I choose to smile in light of where I am, and who I am working to become. 

Becki Finishing the RIchmond Half in 1:14:55

I came home knowing I should see a Dr. as the cold was lingering a bit long. I was sure she would tell me I had to ride it out. Much to my surprise, I found out I had pneumonia. I was shocked and abundantly glad I made a rational decision to stop when I did. 

As I work to become the version of myself I dream about (in life and in PR's), I choose to find the good in CIM weekend. I got to spend time with my Volée teammates. I was able to run with some wonderful women for 16 miles. I was thrilled, and smiled until my face hurt, watching so many friends and strong women run the Olympic Trials standard! I soaked in all the good and left the bad in Sac Town. 

Hopefully my next PR will come this spring.. maybe my next PR is years away, but I will embrace the growth, and be willing to fight with the devil and go down swinging. I'll continue to listen to my body and believe in this feeling that I can do more in the sport than I have.