Modeling…oh man, talk about a loaded topic. Am I right?

You guys wanna know a little secret? I actually don’t like modeling. Gasp! I know. I know. You probably think I’m joking, but I promise you I’m not. In fact, Sally has asked me various times throughout my time at Oiselle to model for our website and believe it or not I’ve turned her down. Don’t worry, this hasn’t stopped her from asking. Lol! Bless her patient heart.

If you told me two or three years ago that I would be prancing around in nothing but a sports bras and crops, I’d say you were crazy. Without a doubt cuckoo in la cabeza, cause I would never. Fast forward to July 23rd to be exact and you can find a video of me prancing around in a bra on our Oiselle IGTV. So much for my never, huh? Whoops.

But seriously, if it’s not a selfie or a silly story loaded with fun gifs or a million filters, I’m not interested. Lol! It’s true. See studio pic of me below vs. my candid. Case in point. So what changed? Nothing and everything. I essentially called myself out on my bullshit and to my Boss nonetheless. Yikes!  

Wanna read a few text exchanges between me and the Boss lady on this very topic? Sure you do. Here’s an excerpt of my conversation with Sally on an e-comm shoot I attempted to do with Jess. Outside of the one pic I shared below, I hope the others never see the light of day. Sorry, Jess. It’s not you. It’s me. Promise.

Sally: How was your afternoon model sesh?

Me: It was chill. Fun to see the whole process. Think I’m more goof than model.

I don’t have much of a middle ground so a response like this is my being vague and polite. Sorry Boss.

Sally: Keep in mind e-comm shots are different than concept. E-comm is just the facts ma’am with some more personality. But concept, you should def do, has more space for goofing and range of motion, etc. Personally, I think it’s great having you in both places, but there’s also what you’re into.

Me: Here for it all Boss.

Sally: Takes some getting used to as well.

Me: Here for it all.

Wow talk about a broken record. And here ladies and gents. Here’s where I called bullshit on myself.

After a little more silly banter, I finally came clean. Ugh...it’s still kind of embarrassing to write down.

Me: Moment of truth about the modeling. It was tough for me because lately I’ve felt like my body has been broken. So even though I know better about all the socialized bullshit and standards of beauty, I wasn’t above it. But that’s why I wanna keep doing it. Cause we don’t need perfect small bodies. We need ourselves just as we are.

Gotta walk the fucking talk. Otherwise I sound just like every other woman who complains that they’re not being profiled but won’t show up to the table. And F that. I always wanna be at the table. So I’m in all the way.

Sally: Gah. That’s so powerful. You’re the woman. I love it. None of us are above our insecurities and yet wading in is the only cure. We can do hard things!

Me: Yeah. Most people probably think I’m an incredibly confident (and I am to an extent) woman that should know better, but society has a way of messing us up. Lol!

Sally: You should talk about this on Ask Brenda.

Me: I know. Feels a bit embarrassing to admit it not gonna lie.  

Ugh, I still cringe a little when I re-read this, but this is my truth. This is me keeping shit one hundred with you babes. So now I just show up to my Ask Brenda stories as I am, whether I’m bloated, had a bad skin day or whatever. Life is not just about documenting our most beautiful moments. It’s about showing up as we are and changing the narrative.

So there you have it, friends. That one little modeling experience and conversation with Sally kinda freed me from my self-imposed beauty standards. Keep forging the uncomfortable, friends. It’s quite liberating once you cross that threshold of fear, doubt and false insecurities.

2019 is coming in hot. Like Des Moines hot, good and swassy. Whenever we go back to a location, all the memories of previous meets there come flooding back. [Zoom in on 2013, Oiselle’s first Des Moines meet and our first USA’s, a World Champs year, evoking FastK8 fan tees, Lime's guide to super-fanning, the “Balls” tshirt, just 3 Oiselle athletes competing, an aggressive athlete recruiting schedule, and party details that are best left to the kindness of nostalgia.] But enough about the past!

We have so many athletes repeating at USA’s from our awesome 2018 Des Moines squad last year (hey there, podium Mel!), plus other new appearances to round out our group of 11 athletes. The breadth of events represented this year is PR for Oiselle; we are so honored by these confident and prepared women, and can’t wait to cheer our faces off for them.
*all competition times listed in Central time!

Jasmine Blocker, 400m: After placing 7^that USA’s in the 400 in 2018, switching training groups, and moving to LA, Jasmine has been steadily building this year. She recently PR’d in the 200m; look for her fierce racing style and her fight to make the final in a classically deep US field.
Thursday 7:12pm Rd 1
Friday 6:56pm Semi
Saturday 4:34pm Final

Sadi Henderson, 800m: This is Sadi’s first USA’s as a pro and Oiselle Haute Volée. After a stellar NCAA career at Boise State and USF, Sadi will be joining Littlewing in Bend, OR this fall. Please welcome Sadi as she reps the bird!

Rebecca Mehra, 800m: Rebecca has made big strides this year (seriously, have you seen her stride?) after moving to Bend to join Littlewing and committing to all of the little boring things that contribute to strength. Look for her to mix things up as she drops down in distance to the 800m!
Thursday 6:22pm Rd 1
Friday 6:18pm Semi
Sunday 7:12 pm Final  

Sarah Pease, 10k: Sarah Pease is a 2:38 OTQ marathoner “going short” for some speedy track vibes. Sarah is used to the heat, and since her superpower is persistence look for her to negative split in her typical race fashion.
Thursday 8:50pm Final

Bethany Drake, javelin: Bethany surprised at USA’s last year with a 4^thplace finish, and she’s ready to throw the spear further this year. Javelin is the perfect combo of technique and grunt; this competition for the World team is going to be fierce!
Thursday 6pm Final

Mel Lawrence, 3k steeple: Littlewing’s Mel Bell has followed up her breakout 3^rdplace steeple finish last year with PR’s in the mile, steeple, and 5k this year. The US steeple field is one of the toughest in the world, but Mel’s not afraid of hard things. For those of you watching from home, I sincerely hope the coverage does not cut away from this race.

Alexina Wilson, 3k steeple: A finalist last year, Alexina is looking to move into the top 6 at USA’s and get that PR she’s ready for. Watch Alexina’s lead leg snap down over the barriers, and you’ll understand why she’s so tough out there.
Friday 4:57pm Rd 1
Sunday 6:09pm Final

Megan Clark, pole vault: If you’ve been following Megan, you can appreciate her mental fortitude as a pole vault athlete. Seriously, look at her Instagram posts. She’s been changing up her approach and her poles this year, and she’s ready to fly. Get that PR, Megan!
Sunday 5:10pm Final