I had an obnoxious taper week before CIM, all my taper runs were significantly slower than my usual recovery pace, my legs were super heavy, I had headaches, I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning (usually I'm a morning person) and I felt like my muscles were tingling from running withdraws. I wasn't going to lose focus a week before the marathon so I kept reading over my training log from the last 5 months to remind myself how prepared I was to PR, but I was still frustrated and anxious about how rough I was feeling. In January, I wrote my goal: "Break 2:40" on a tag and hung it from my 2016 Oiselle Olympic Trials team photo. I looked at this nearly every day to remind myself to stay focused; I was going to fight to earn a sub 2:40 marathon.
Going into this season things were looking up. I decided that CIM would be my turning point, hoping that just as last year, CIM would be the end I needed to a tough year. When I put my whole heart into this build-up I pushed my limits. I wanted it so bad but I didn't fully have the confidence in myself to do it. I fought every workout to try to prove it to myself. Instead of running the prescribed paces I pushed to go faster. As I have now learned, training for the marathon is just like racing a marathon. You have to be consistent & patient. Each workout and run works together to get you to the line ready to race. When I began pushing my workouts, I began running my race in practice. It hurt really bad to come to that realization. I felt like I needed to prove that I was a great runner to be accepted, and in turn I self-sabotaged.